| Ask A Drunk : One Thread |
The leaders of Britain’s headteachers have stated publicly that every school has a drug problem and that any head who claims otherwise is living in a fool’s paradise.As headmaster of the Ask A Drunk Secondary College, I completely disagree. If ever a school was drug-free, this is it.
I wish you could see our wide-eyed boys and girls in the classroom, their pupils dilated with enthusiasm. Some of them are so responsive in discussion that they rattle away for minutes at a time and it can be difficult to get a word in edgeways! Others tend to ramble a little, and it’s not always easy to guess what they’re getting at, but at least it shows they aren’t apathetic, despite their slumped posture and half-closed eyes.
No, they’re not interested in drugs, our young people – though they do tend to consume a remarkable number of fizzy drinks. In fact, now I think about it, a really phenomenal number.
No less striking than their readiness to learn is their social conscience. Why, as I stroll round the town I see them in every corner, engaged in conversation with the most unappealing looking characters, and displaying a generosity that makes me proud to be their mentor.
Most of them, I’m happy to say, are considering careers in medicine. If one of them drops his satchel, you can be sure a hypodermic syringe will fall out!
No, no, I won’t listen to this defeatist claptrap. I would rather remember the school motto, Excelsior! – which, as I am sure you know, means ‘Higher!’
It is a motto our boys and girls have taken to heart.
-- Rex(rex@waitrose.com), June 02, 2002
Now we will sing the school song, Ebenezer Goode. All together...
-- Ratso Rizzo (mike.morris@anthro.ox.ac.uk), June 03, 2002.
Do poppers count?
-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 09, 2002.
No.
-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 09, 2002.
But poppers. Sweet, soothing poppers. I've never, ever had a wino turn me down when I've offered one of them a blast on the amyl.
-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 10, 2002.