| Ask A Drunk : One Thread |
What great inventions/scientific discoveries have you made?
-- San (nomoremail@pakistans.com), March 17, 2002
The rubber cheesegrater was probably the pinnacle of my long line of inventing successes.
I got the idea after I had to have my fingers medically reconstituted when I was distracted while preparing a little fresh Parmesan for the spag-boll.
The world need never suffer from grater's knuckle again.
-- Archie Meades (a.meades@noprinciples.com), March 18, 2002.
I invented crated water, as an inexpensive alternative to bottled water. It is a little-understood and rarely-credited fact that, whilst the planet Neptune was not named after me, it was clearly named before me. I am the sole inventor of indoor croquet. Finally, I discovered gravity before I could even walk.
-- Aimless (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), March 18, 2002.
I invented the pop up toaster and started the fad of braiding anal beards.
-- Donktheclown (ahnklspanker@ouch.net), March 20, 2002.
Not mine, but Oscar Wilde’s: ‘I have discovered that alcohol taken in sufficient quantity produces all the effects of drunkenness.’
-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), March 20, 2002.
My self, I am working on micro-nuke shoe bomb which will explode if you click your heels and say "There's no place like home"
-- SaN (spam@pakistans.com), March 20, 2002.
I am the proud inventor of the "Ramco Turbo Douche". When you don't have time to squat, spread, and insert that little rod in your cunt, us bend over and put the stainless steel tip in your pussy and push the button. Garanteed to clean all the way up to the Ovaries! Available in red abd green with vibrating action!
-- Peter Dragon (D_sot@drunksonofabitch.com), March 26, 2002.
not telling you!
-- (jimpetherwick@hotmail.com), April 04, 2002.
I recently invented the clockwork Trevor Baylis.
-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 22, 2002.