Blissium Stories

Hello, my name is Keith Ledbetter,

Me and my two friends took four capsules of Blissium simultaneously at my house two weeks ago at 9pm.

An hour or so of patient waiting passed until the first symptoms began to show. I was aware of a rising senstation in my chest, something akin to vomit, but more so. Holy Vomit

My friends reported something similar, a feeling of Christ belting from their stomachs and travelling upwards. Soon we all found ourselves gathered around a toilet, heaving sick into the water.

Somewhere during this I became unaware of my surroundings, feeling increasingly like I was in a tavern in 1750's Bristol, in the company of several bawdy men and busty wenches, a dog and a minute Wels Carp living in my eye.

The next three hours are a blur as I found myself serving these people with a foaming ale I called "Tarby's Wee-Wee" and listening carefully to a snootleseque band of the future playing manic jazz in the corner

After a time a tall horseman entered the bar, announcing himself as Mr. Bliss. I served him a pint of Tarby and we talked for a time about trade routes between London and Birmingham and the possibility of opening up a wrought iron business together.

The scene then shifted quickly to my living room where I found myself and my two friends awash in a sea of fractals, listening to Mercury Rev's "Car Wash Hair". I was starting to become scared, so I began asking my friends about Tarby's Wee-Wee. They looked back at me in horror, obviously still in the grip of their own private visions.

We came down quickly over the next fifteen minutes, consoling ourselves with the odd blast of vapourised cannabis to reduce any further tensions.

Up to a week afterwards we all found ourselves to be world-beaters at pool.

Does anyone else have any Blissium experiences to report?

-- Keith L (ledbetterk@blissium.eu.org), June 17, 2002

Answers

I had a very well argued answer to post.

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

And now i don't

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Such is Ormskirk

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Or booze

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

It's much the same

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

After a while

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Ormskirk and booze, I mean

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

It all tends to merge into one

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

After a while, have I said that already?

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Yes

-- Matt' conscience (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

And now I will illustrate why you are such an appalling human being

-- Matt's conscience (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

with the use of SHADOW PUPPETS

-- Matt's conscience (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Look. This one's YOUR WEIRD UNCLE VERNON

-- Matt's conscience (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Sophie, which do you like best, Daddy or Uncle Vernon who makes you do things?

-- Matt's starting to worry himself (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Daddy versus Uncle Vernon - FITE!

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Daddy's winning, thank God. He's got God on his side

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

You're welcome

-- God (Thedivinebeing@don'tyougetitit?IwasJOKING.com), June 17, 2002.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - "Matt - Stop inserting metal coins into your brain. It makes you 'Wierd'"

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Possibly

-- Wagon Christ (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

I've just popped a couple of Blissium, and now I'm going to document my experience - live, online.

I think I might do it in freeform verse. La-la-la. Sorry, just tuning up.
Here goes...

Still waiting for something to happen.
Oooh! I feel sick.

Bleeeeeeeeee....ech!
That's better. Well, no, it's not actually, the sick has made the keyboard abit slipeprey.

I donut feel any diffirent yet.

Oh look! Mr Time is healing my keyboard....Wheeee! Smart.
OK I fell apoem coming on.

The distance, it walks upon thenight like slippered owls. About the trees a fairminded winkle turns the beast about. Cannot the simple-minded see the truth is all, and that which sets the custard fools no-one. Toads and tennis balls are almost, if seen under a certain light, the one and only torches of thetruth, where we should followthem to know it all. No, that's not right. It can't sit easy with the parlourmaid of Dr. Doggins who heals by day but has his way by night. We choose the cheeseof cheddar and damn the cheese of Edam we do. Damn Edenif it weasn't good enough for me dad, then it's not good enough for me. Stuff your paradise, and Widness is paradise enough. Ah, hello mr god, thisisn't aconvenient time y'know, i'm busy. Ofcourse you know, you're omni and newscientist all rolled into one. i feel tired now, that sick looks soft mmmmmmm............ submit, i must submit...........i submit...

-- Sue Denim (s.denim@fucknowswhere.com), June 18, 2002.

If I continue to hit the booze at this rate we're going to hit three thousand postings in about a week. Oh my head.

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 18, 2002.

Stick to the Blissium, mate, its hangover is only mild, but it does last the rest of your life.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 18, 2002.

Unfortunately that takes about 38 seconds ( they lied about the side effects)

-- Simon (simon@weeble.evesham.net), June 18, 2002.

forget Blissium, pineapple and grapefruit "Soda Stream" concentrate is what all the kids are on today.

-- Jarl'rmai (parkerj@edgehill.ac.uk), June 19, 2002.

Ingredients: Sugar, Grapefruit & Pineapple Juice COncentrate (13%), Water, Citric Acid, Sweeteners (Sodium Cyclamate, Acesulfame K, Aspartame), Flavouring, Acidity Regulator (sodium Citrate), Antioxidant (Asorbic Acid), Preservative (Sodium Benzoate), Colour (Quinoline Yellow)
For best results 1 part concentrate to 23 parts water.

For Jarlmai and Lynskeys results make water as fizzy as possible (3 turns in the sodastram should do) then mix 50-50 concentrate and water.

Then stand back and watch them go wierd.

-- Duo Pineapple & Grapefruit (sodastream@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 19, 2002.

Add crack for a real fucking smash-house!

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 19, 2002.

Add smash for real fucking house-crack!

-- Robin (Robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), June 19, 2002.

Add house for a real fucking crack-smash!

crack-smash is my new favorite word...

-- Jarl'rmai (parkerj@edgehill.ac.uk), June 20, 2002.

Add fuck for a real housey crack smash!

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 20, 2002.

Yup we're menatal here in Ormskirk for the Pinny Grapey raves that take place in the Council Offices Car Park. Bangin' beats and as much cracksmoke as you can fit in your lungs. Wizard!

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 20, 2002.

I tried a blissium enema this morning, funny thing. Thereafter was the rush of blood and just some old fecal matter. These were all I could recognize given the state of things. But I gazed into the quivering heap of messs for long enough to realize that at that very moment, I was cleaner than I had been in a long time...No shit.

-- Zucena (yikes@owwmyasshurts.com), July 24, 2002.

This blissium shit sounds fun to me!

-- Chris (Cbuj@xox.net), September 06, 2002.

Then you will die as you were born. Covered in RED BLOOD AND BITS OF YO MOM

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), September 06, 2002.

I tried Blissium and now I LOVE Gdub. He is an intellectual Giant. I believe everything he says. He is eloquent. His beady eyes are so handsome. Our souls have met. He offered to me Laura. I accepted. On blissium, making love to Laura was, well, special.. Screams of ecstasy in Texan are so sexy. "OOOO, yess, yess!" with that nazal twang is unforgetable. I asked her if I was better than George. She said George is (think nazal) "too busy with important stuff like a tax cut to the middle class and of course, regime changes." As we lay, in post-coital euphoria, we shared a camel, dropped more blissium, and plotted a three-way with Hillary. Bye.

Blissfully,

Michael

-- Michael Waters (michaelw@nwlink.com), September 16, 2002.

To which one can only say, fair play lad.

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), September 20, 2002.