Blissium, Blissium and It's Effect on Dogs

I don't know about you but I'm sick of my pooches getting snuffed out and sicking to death because of Blissium. Natural High? It's against NATURE!

My beloved cocker-spaniel Terrapin was deaded whilst we were out knocking cocks off cliffs with some guitar playing Liverpool fans. We were Riff Kop Cliff Top Cock Knockers.

It was all because of the "Bliss".

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), August 02, 2002

Answers

I beleive that I underwent a similar experience whilst in the company of some of of the punt-crime preventing members of Cambridgeshire constabulary. They were Skiff cop riff kop cliff top cocknockers.

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), August 03, 2002.

The ones stopping a fight at the time? Tiff stop skiff cop riff kop cliff top cock-knockers.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), August 04, 2002.

What whilst wielding inflexbile floor cleaning devices? As if they were stiff mop tiff stop skiff cop riff kop cliff top cock knockers

-- Jarl'rmai (parkerj@edgehill.ac.uk), August 04, 2002.

Whilst cutting the head off of half of the BBC's unlamented duo Smith and Jones. Griff lop stiff mop tiff stop skiff cop riff kop cliff top cock knockers?

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), August 04, 2002.

Whilst listening to a chart topping song by Back to the Future's (Super Happy Time Adventure) erstwhile manure hating, cane wielding antagonist. Biff pop Griff lop stiff mop tiff stop skiff cop riff kop cliff top cock knockers

-- Jarl'rmai (parkerj@edgehill.ac.uk), August 04, 2002.

. . . and spilling lemon juice everywhere? Jif Slop biff pop Griff lop stiff mop tiff stop skiff cop riff kop cliff top cock knockers

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), August 04, 2002.

whilst skipping between visual files. Gif hop jif slop biff pop griff lop stiff mop tiff stop skiff cop riff kop cliff top cock knockers.

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), August 04, 2002.

You will eventually go blind for all that cock knocking. Then you will be a no-sight, pale-white, can't write, cock knocking, knob gobling hob-goblin.

-- Kal (sharravarra@hotmail.com), August 05, 2002.

one thing i have noticed about limeys is that they like to do and talk about stupid shit. a limey will be entertained by a man in womens clothing spouting off idiocy - this is entertainment to them. they also have the very highest rate of homosexuality per capita than any other country since greece was organized into city states. the moral you may ask? british imperialism has done its best to bugger the world - failing that they crossdress to try to get on your good side while forgoing all dental hygene.

-- althea (fritzbead@aol.com), August 05, 2002.

I want to be an American.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), August 05, 2002.

me too.

-- Jarl'rmai (parkerj@edgehill.ac.uk), August 05, 2002.

Ever read the third man, Althea? You're literally knee-deep in homosexuals, and they're all in a Blissium frenzy.

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), August 05, 2002.

If I was born in America I wouldn't be so damn gay. Why just yesterday I couldn't help but notice that I had my cock in a man. Frightful.

Ahh . . . people who use homosexuality as a term of abuse. Love 'em, I fucking love 'em.

The American term "fags" is all round wonderful. I imagine a red- faced seargent spitting out the phrase, a drunken old cowboy slurring it to the open prarie before fucking his negro slave boy, a NYPD motherfucker synchronising it with a blackjack blow to the base of a non-white spine, an uberstereotype jock wailing on the geek in a bleached impersonal gym raping dignity with the phrase unaware of his own burgeoning need for cock, an even more stereotypical redneck screaming it over the Billy Ray jukebox as that scene from the Accused is played over and over and over again for liberty's blood red dress to mop over, cover up and smear away the grease.

All highly Grecian images if you ask me.

I loved the bomb you guys did with "Hijack this FAGS!!!" written on it. Best missed point of the century. I loved the way Fags was bigger than all the other words and the multiple exclamation marks. Like a Dixons sale.

I love the fact the Bible Belt hate San Francisco because that's where the Fags go. I love the fact your best poet wrote a eulogy for teenage cocks to be read at his funeral, and it was. I love Rock Hudson movies, I don't think of him as "Aids guy", but I don't deny him the way he died. I wouldn't watch Ellen either way. I wouldn't watch Rosie O'Donnell full stop.

I love the Doctors dead outside abortion clinics - two people, one act - One Vision, I've never met a New York rentboy I imagine they'd have a story, drag queen karaoke appeals to me, as does Judy Garland. I've seen "To Wong Fu" and I've seen "Priscilla". My Own Private Idaho leaves me cold, The Living End makes me cry. Salem wasn't about dykes in the slightest. Your priesthood amazes me, we'll fuck kids but we won't protect Bethlehem from shells.

I love the fact States reject Darwin when if you think about it by his logic homosexuality becomes even more of an 'abomination'. I love the fact you put a bitchy queen on Big Brother and he stole the show. I love the way your sitcoms sentitively treat the subject and how your companies sensitively advertise in their breaks. I love the way your military harps on about morale, esprit de corps and "reach- arounds".

I love gay America. It's one of their best features.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), August 05, 2002.

Bet they get as much Blissium as they can chew . . .

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), August 05, 2002.

Bliss (Bliss) n.; pl. Blisses (#). [OE. blis, blisse, AS. blis, bli¯¿s, fr. bli¯¿e blithe. See Blithe.]

Orig., blithesomeness; gladness; now, the highest degree of happiness; blessedness; exalted felicity; heavenly joy. "An then at last our bliss Full and perfect is." Milton.

"-ium" construction applied to names of non-metallic elements.

Not surprised dogs get fucked up with all this non-metallic blithesomeness and exalted felicity - try giving 'em meat.

-- Mike Dad (stuart133@hotmail.com), August 10, 2002.

Alternatively, try this: try growing a punchline from seed. Try nurturing it throughout the various stages of its development. Shileding it from the elements in a hothouse environment for the first week or so until it becomes a requirement that the punchline be removed to fend for itself in a cold and well-managed garden for a couple of days, as to avoid doing so would damage its internally programmed systems, would rob it of the outer fibrous skin which any punchline needs in order to avoid withering sadly away. No simile can fully encompass the horror of a well-nurtured punchline dying before it has come to full fruition. It's like taking Nazism away from history, it leaves many people stood around sad and aimless, pointing vaguely at maps the shadings and code of which they can only vaguely decipher but they were sure they knew the full meaning of just a minute ago. The message, simply, is this: Americans are gay.

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), August 10, 2002.

So Blissium is Happy Metal. This must mean that it is to Heavy Metal as Happy Hardcore is to Gabba. For Iron maiden we have Jolly Maiden, for Megadeth we have MegaO.K., for Judas Priest we have Jesus Priest and for Black Sabbath we have Tie-Dyed Public Holiday.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), August 12, 2002.

" How to Bait a Buggerfish?"

Quite simply the buggerfish is the most easily baited as it is not noted for its discriminating palate. simply take a small wax candle , preferably the twisty type , and insert it deeply into your british one inch urethra. Give her a twirl and scrape the sides as if you were riding the iron horse on the physicians paper covered couch. This is sure to cover the wick in bacteria and fecal matter left over from the perversity of the limey's previous high tea. In a celabratory memoriam for the inbred king (wich one you ask as they are all inbred?) the one with the three titted headless wife - we will make a new religion!! This one will worship all things perverse as "artsy" - and allow its followers to be laughably condencending to breeders as they wink , probe the brown eye , and flip ash from their wee lil cigars into the tray strategicaly placed onto their "mates" upturned fanny. This is peculiar form of mating is purely british!! Now place aforementioned candle on an altar of your own making and call it Anglican! never light it however for the Lynskfish may return to claim his sacred relic and offer it up to the parents of a prepubescent negro boy with a cockney accent as a dowry.

-- althea (fritzbead@aol.com), August 18, 2002.

Yeah i've been reading your little messages and you're way out of line talking about americans like that. It's likely that your just a tad bit jealous. It's not americas fault that your only date for the prom was your hand and a bottle of jergens. Just because you people aren't socially accepted doesn't mean you have to trash us. I know that some people in this country are fucked up but thats true with any country. Why don't you look at yourselves. Now whip out your thesaurus and come back at me with those big words that suffice for your small dicks.

-- kevin (kevin_16_2@excite.com), September 13, 2002.

kevin,

I refuse to argue further with out seeing a picture of your cock. I need to know the exact size of your knob before proceeding.

Here's how I suggest you prove the dimensions of you phallus. Get a piece of paper write "Ask A Drunk" on it, place your cock across it with an object close by for scale, take a photo with a digital camera and post it on this forum. Then we'll talk.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), September 13, 2002.

Well, he seems to have believed everything else on here, so who knows what we'll see. He is it would appear an American person, so perhaps a target not quite ready for your full spleen or subtlety. That said, I am delighted to learn that I am not socially acceptable- any society, as Groucho would have almost have it, which rejects our feeble attempts at amusement, is perhaps one by which we would wish to be regarded as unacceptable. He is perhaps not ready for the haut-monde of Ormskirk society at its most glittering.

-- Simon (weebleman@hotmail.com), September 13, 2002.

I just don't understand how you could call your nonsense humor. Saying that you "hate americans", how is that funny? Don't try and play innocent. The way you go on with your moronic banter is just a way of avoiding the subject. The subject is, may i remind you, that you all are a bunch of freaks.

-- kevin (kevin_16_2@excite.com), September 13, 2002.

Um- I don't want to be really picky, but the phrase "hate americans" doesn't actually appear on this thread anywhere, so perhaps you might want to lose the quote marks. Perhaps a slightly more careful read would pay dividends?

-- Simon (weebleman@hotmail.com), September 13, 2002.

I don't really hate americans, I just don't trust them to run the world... as I wouldn't trust any country that was 200 years old to run the world. Face it, when this country was 200 years old women were being dragged back to the caves by their hair.

As for being a bunch of Freaks... Hurrah I've succeeded in my mission.

-- Celeste (celeste@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), September 13, 2002.

For the record I don't hate Americans either. And I don't hate our good friend Kevin. I didn't say I hated America, I said I was a fan of the multi-faceted gay culture present in America. Do you think gay America is Un-American, Kevin? One word for you - McCarthy.

It's made me realise why the Yanks don't play cricket. I've seen so many posts and posters from the States who play off the back foot, and none play well. Why so defensive? What subject are we avoiding?

After the events of a while ago it seems that now America has a victim mentality. Foreign Affairs now effect more than just vague states you've never heard of. Anti-American isn't the right phrase. The American people are just that, people. It's the machinery, the foreign policy, the aggressive commercialist expansion that we don't like.

And what I hate even more is the fact I have to trudge out bullshit and faux serious arguments when this is the designated place on the intraweb to talk about Blissium, Blissium and it's effect on FUCKING DOGS. For God's sake, Kevin, get with the program.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), September 13, 2002.

You Brits aren't still mad about that Tea incident and the Bloody Whipping George and his boys gave old Cornwallis, are you?

Think bad about Americans next time we forgive your debts or have to come over there to save your pansy asses from some two-bit German shoe salesman.

Only good things you produced were Iron Maggie, Tony Blair, and Princess Di.

Now bugger off, ya limey bastards!

-- Scott (scott@intelladon.com), September 29, 2002.

Dear me.

But now it’s time for our fortnightly look at the world of traditional crafts and watercolour painting, presented by Deaconess Aimless of Portland.

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), September 29, 2002.

Rex, you forgot to cue the theme music. I simply cannot work under these shoddy conditions. I shall have to mucilage the back of my right hand to the center of my brow until I receive a proper apology.

-- Aimless (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), September 29, 2002.

We pause for a second to take in an advertisement for "Cold Flies".

(picture on screen of a friendly robot)

"Next time you're hungry, kids, eat a bowl of cold flies. . . "

And now back to our programme . . .

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), September 29, 2002.

(which consists of me shuffling quietly into the debate late in the day, shyly raising a hand and declaiming) "Um, the plural of thesaurus is thesauri".
Kevin, you'll never know why that's funny.

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), September 29, 2002.

(it isn't of course but sshhh, you'll ruin it for him)

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), September 29, 2002.

excellent- ruining it for Kevin has become my new life's work

-- Simon (weebleman@hotmail.com), October 05, 2002.

Shouldn't it read "it's effect on dog's"?

-- Bollard (tim_collard@yahoo.com), October 05, 2002.

you wanker, the possesive apostrophe does not apply in this case, toss pot.

-- Rox (Rox@waitrose.com), October 05, 2002.

thatt woz’nt ’mee, i w’ood neva rite s’ew ilitrat a p’os’ti’ng!’

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 06, 2002.

One should not interpret my guilty looks as being indicative of my guilt in this shocking matter. Guilty looks come naturally to me. My mother was a sheep.

-- Aimless (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), October 10, 2002.

poor ewe

-- Simon (weebleman@hotmail.com), October 11, 2002.

*falls backwards off chair laughing*

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), October 15, 2002.

I'm sorry- old and obvious, but I couldn't resist

-- Simon (weebleman@hotmail.com), October 15, 2002.

Neither could the poor, poor victims of the Inquisition, my dear boy.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), October 15, 2002.

ignorance is better than bliss...oblivion is even better...crawford could not care less...andy

-- andrew kenneth ainge (frooglebmac@aol.com), November 17, 2002.