| Ask A Drunk : One Thread |
Can anyone recommend a seriously out-of-the-way holiday spot, which is NOT: anthrax-contaminated; on fire; crawling with would-be travel journalists; littered with dead hippies; in another galaxy; or likely to contain Matthew Parris staggering around looking cold and talking into a video recorder?
-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), October 08, 2001
For total peace and tranquility, I would personally recommend Starks Park, Kirkcaldy; Home to the might Raith Rovers Football Club.Phone on Saturday morning and ask "What time does the match kick off?", and they're bound to reply "Well what time can you be here for?"
-- Glen Haig (glen@haigg.freeserve.co.uk), October 08, 2001.
I would recommend Hefei, the capital of Anhui province in China. I think it fulfils all the criteria; the termite-ridden greywashed post- Stalinist architecture isn't likely to attract the most post-post- post-post-modern of cultural critics; it's difficult to get to without the difficulties being any more interesting than endless queues and impenetrable bureaucracy in the travel agency, followed by badly-maintained ex-Soviet aircraft; you can't pick up the tarts without a reasonable grasp of Huai-dialect Shanghainese; and when I got invited to dinner by the Deputy Mayor in 1991 I was glued to my hotel's wicked-house for 18 hours with food poisoning.I intend to go there to found a 21st-century artists' colony any minute now.
-- Tim Collard (tim_collard@yahoo.com), October 13, 2001.
I suggest St Austell town centre after about 6.00pm on a Saturday night. There really is very little to do there. Personally I think it's just a planning failure, but others may know more. Of course there are periodic episodes of hippy infestation, but they tend to be of the younger, wannabe kind attending rave weekends at nearby Carlyon Bay.
-- Shopper's Friend (se27@btopenworld.com), November 01, 2001.
Boffin Bay?
-- Aimless (aimless@national_raffle_association.org), November 01, 2001.
In that sense, of course, Boppin' Bay. But the rest of the area is less prone to excitement.
-- Shopper's Friend (se27@btopenworld.com), November 01, 2001.
Cheadle Hulme, Stockport has its attractions - decent pubs, good Chinese restaurant. Only downside is gangs of marauding, though heavily-scented teenagers from Beziers in S. France. Clearly some French burgeur took a large backhander for signing up to most improbable town 'twinning'.
-- Richard Davies (richardvdavies@yahoo.co.uk), November 01, 2001.
Out of the way? Most definitely Cozahome, Arkansas, USA. Consists of a church, and a house. Miles of dirt roads. Near the beautiful Buffalo River National Park, which after a good rain has water in it with three ripples, a fish, and one lone endangered snail. Near beautiful Yellville, where it takes a village to make a full set of teeth.
-- frontrunner (cowboy405@yahoo.com), November 04, 2001.
Interested to hear that Cheadle Hulme is twinned with Béziers. Surely the answer to the infestation of malodorous juvenile froggies is to induce, out of the council's town-twinning budget, the Cheadle Hulme Historical Reconstruction Society to go over there to stage a re-run of the inaugural massacre of the Albigensian Crusade in 1209, where the inhabitants of Béziers were massacred in their entirety. This was the occasion on which the Abbot of Cîteaux, the George Carey of his day, coined the memorably enlightened injuction "Kill them all, God will sort out His own". I'm on for it....
-- Bollard (tim_collard@yahoo.com), November 04, 2001.
Oh, dear, Cheadle Hulme is in trouble again. In my youth, on day- trips to sunny Cheadle Hulme from exotic Davenport, I would laugh at the amusing re-creations of Cathar battles, the pyres, the rabid Dominicans!! How was I to know that I was to become a Cathar perfectus, giving up meat and sex (although the latter may not be actually voluntary)? For further heresy fun in South Manchester, try the Monothelite cenobites of Whalley Range, and the Sauline Sibyls of Heaton Mersey.
-- Saullie (saulj@btinternet.com), November 06, 2001.
All I have to say to you, cupcake, is “Duo negotia diaboli Praxeas Stockportae procuravit: prophetiam expulit et haeresin intulit: Paracletum fugavit et Patrein crucifixit.”
-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), November 12, 2001.