Camp Vex-Red

If music be the food of love, indie-rock is its torture. After the collapes of my antipodean base and my subsequent arrest, myself and my orange jumpsuited baboons are being held here, in Camp Vex-Red.

Since myself and my few remaining baboons have spent most of our lives travelling up and down motorways, our "culturally appropriate meals" have consisted of of the traditional service station buffet. We did have some problems getting them to make the hash browns as dry and flaky as possible and the toast to be both soggy and burnt. But after the Iron Cross stepped in (they do such good work worldwide for Innovations in Iron) the food has been suitably awful.

We sit, most motionless, in six mile square open cages (more like reserves), with the sun absolutely raping it down 24/7. Many of the more vocal baboons have been gagged to prevent "planning".

Escape seems unlikely as our hosts are treating us well. I have struck up several rewarding conversations with the guards, mostly concerning my altered beasts, and a few particularly open minded guards seem quite interested in applying my alterations to their own torsos.

Rebellion from within? We shall see.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freerserve.co.uk), May 30, 2002

Answers

Damn! I must have misread that last signpost.
I thought this was Rex's camp bed.

-- Sue Denim (s.denim@aol.net), May 30, 2002.

Not to worry, Susan my dearest – it’s only taken you another fortnight to find the real thing! Welcome, welcome. A thousand embraces. Mind you, this bed’s a bit narrow for two. Could I persuade you to sleep underneath it? It’s just that I like to be able to stretch out to my full three feet eight inches. And – to be honest – I was rather hoping your bubonic plague would have cleared up by now.

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), June 13, 2002.

Yeah, Rex, shove up a bit and give us all room to fiddle beneath the sheets.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Well, strike me pink, it’s Lynskey!! Sorry mate, I mistook you for a burst hot-water bottle.

-- Rex (rex@waitrose.com), June 17, 2002.

Easily done

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve,co.uk), June 17, 2002.

Tell me about it. It's given me severe psycho-sexual issues that not even Tracey Ullman can solve.

-- Lynskey (paul@daymaker.freeserve.co.uk), June 18, 2002.