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I'm going to the deli for a cheese and pickle roll but I've only got a twenty. They'll be cross at me if I offer that, and there's no petty cash in the drawer. Can anyone lend me a pound?

-- Mildly Hungry of North Oxford (mike.morris@anthro.ox.ac.uk), February 13, 2002

Answers

Back in Oz, we've gorra little tinned product simlar to your "WD40", ony we call it "Startyabastard".
Can I recommend a similar thing to yous? Starveyabastard!

-- Germaine Greergarson-Iswearlikeaneffingtrooper (g.greer@downunder.au.net), February 14, 2002.

go and scrounge it off your parents in Boars Hill like you usually do you fucking student twat.

-- XStatic Peace (xpeace@hotmail.com), February 14, 2002.

Oh, look, a chippy tosspot who "doesn't like students" (ah, how original). He thinks 1) I'm a student (I must be, I'm in Oxford; if I were in Newcastle I would be a toon-supporting Geordie who said "tits oot for the lads") 2) My parents are poshoes who also live in Oxford (of course--logical) and 3) that I'm some kind of scrounger. Perhaps this fellow would be happier with a less demanding board-- "I'm a humourless chippy Daily Mail-reading no-mark who blames others for my neuroses", for instance. I'll get my scout to check if there is such a thing on the way to get my quails' eggs.

-- Bert Whippetfancier (mike.morris@anthro.ox.ac.uk), February 14, 2002.

Hear me now student Mike Morris - XStatic Peace will not stand for such cornholing! However, I am given to understand that on most occasions he will kneel for it and, pending a small monetary tribute to his personal "Clean Needle Exchange" fund , he may bend over for it as well.

-- rudeboy (therude_boy@hotmail.com), February 14, 2002.