Does anyone know anything about "Lynskey", or where to get him?

Does anyone know anything about that no-longer-particularly-new, largely-unnatural high (or otherwise, depending on the success of his last trip to Southport) called "Lynskey", or where to get him? I tried to memorize the whole of his website, but it gave me convulsions. And I can’t find anything on Google apart from a load of rubbish about drunks.

-- amy nitrite (rex@waitrose.com), September 18, 2002

Answers

Lynskey is an unstable trans-uranic human being with a half a life, of only 25.9166666666 years. He was created artificially, through the input of huge amounts of energy from his semi-stable parentel units, Chilhood. Childhood itself will eventually decay, over a period of many years, to the even less stable drunk, giving off large quantities of useless information and decending into pill particle parties in the process. Lynskey does not exist in nature.

-- Robin (robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.

I was exposed to a uncontrolled Lynskey reaction during a pub trip back in 1999 or was it 2000? Ever since then I have been unable to remove myself from his front room.

-- Robin (robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.

1. Buying Lynskey over the net? For god's sake, even my five year old monk fish takes crack

2. Lynskey high = funny. They all without fail involve 'locations' . That is why they are ace (okay gasworks, churches, ruff woods and big big fields are ace (and the breaking of no less than 12 rules ))

3. He's called "Lynskey". He's obviously shit.

4. Why are you asking us?

5. Don't come grovelling to us if you've got shit mates. Meeting us will only damage you further. Get 'friends' off ICQ or something

6. If you stop talking to us you'll feel like you're high.

-- Robin (robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.

Vocal swelling negates breathing.

-- Robin (robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.

No, no, no, no, no, no...you say!

The ability to be parody of a parody negates humour. Someone dig me out . . . .

-- Robin (robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.

Dig you out? No way. You're doing just fine on your own. Have you reached the water table in that hole yet?
And, while you're down there doing that, you're not getiimg in anyones way.

(Quick, somebody give us a hand to pull this ladder up!)

-- Sue Denim (s.denim@aol.net), September 19, 2002.

Wow, this hole is about 4.5 seconds deep, at a completely unprepared and 'never had to do this one before' guess-timate I would say thats about 380 feet. Care to differ Matt??

-- Robin (robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.

Can you smell gas?

-- Robin (robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.

To quote Sue Denim,

"Quick, somebody give us a hand to pull this ladder up!"

Closer to the truth than you ever, ever know. Was it cast iron?

-- Robin (robin@rjmhome.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.

Yes

-- Matt (Matt@coastaltown.freeserve.co.uk), September 19, 2002.